Friday, May 26, 2006
How Human Evolution Changed the Mitt
This mitt came from 1870, before humans developed fingers. One day, some guy stuck his hand into his glove and realized that he had fingers. Not only was that the beginning of fingers in the human race, but it was also the beginning of baseball gloves with compartments for fingers.
... Like this guy. Then one day some guy stuck his hand into this mitt and caught a baseball and it hurt. This means that humans were beginning to develop nerves in their hands as well. So, while the glove did not protect the hand from pain while catching a line drive, it could still be used as an oven mitt. Unfortunately, it wasn't pretty enough to hang over the stove top, so it was rendered useless by the time the next glove evolved...
... Which not only protected your hands from baseballs, but the color black matched every uniform. Then one day, some guy tried catching a fly ball, but it fell right out of the mitt when he didn't bother to lock the catch with his other hand. His argument was that since humans had since developed the ability to move their hands, he shouldn't have to lock the catch with his free hand. He should just be able to close the glove with the hand it's on. But the glove is too thick.
And that explains this thing. Then one day some guy put on the mitt and was like, "Laces. Right? I mean. We need laces." Scientists are still trying to determine what significance lace-loving plays in the evolution of humans. But humans love laces these days, so this is what happened...
... And then some guy put on this mitt and was like, "Hey since we now see in colors other than black, white, and sepia, maybe we should make a mitt with a new color."
... So this mitt was made in 2000. The year humans grew a sixth finger on each hand.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment