Day in Review

San Diego Padres at Chicago Cubs
Closet Watch 2006: Piazza's still in the closet.

Oakland Athletics at New York Yankees
All proceeds from Yankees games this weekend go to charity. World hunger has been exterminated.

Los Angeles Dodgers at San Francisco Giants
Barry Bonds didn't tie Babe Ruth. Barry Bonds didn't tie Babe Ruth. Barry Bonds didn't tie Babe Ruth. Barry Bonds didn't tie Babe Ruth. Barry Bonds didn't tie Babe Ruth. Barry Bonds didn't tie Babe Ruth. The Giants won anyway.

Kansas City Royals at Baltimore Orioles
In an effort to compete, the Kansas City Royals have moved to AAA.

Philadelphia Phillies at Cincinnati Reds
A total of two runs were scored at Great American Ballpark. MLB is reviewing the game to make sure more than one inning was played.

Detroit Tigers at Cleveland Indians
The Tigers won 3-0. Drew Carey came out of retirement from comedy to tell a joke, but no one laughed, and he quickly returned to retirement.

Florida Marlins at Pittsburgh Pirates
A season-high 884 people saw the Florida Marlins top the Pittsburgh Pirates 4-3.

New York Mets at Milwaukee Brewers
Jose "Is my career over yet?" Lima took the mound for the Mets and helped pave the way for a 9-8 win.

Chicago White Sox at Minnesota Twins
Minnesota got the win. Ozzie Guillen affirmed the notion that he's out of his gourd.

Colorado Rockies at Houston Astros
In an interview following the game, Oswalt said, "I got kind of sick before the game. No excuses, that wasn't the problem." Will someone please define 'excuse' for him? If not, could someone get him a LiveJournal account?

Toronto Blue Jays at Tampa Bay Devil Rays
It was a battle of the two biggest baseball cities in the world, and the Blue Jays came out a winner.

Washington Nationals at Atlanta Braves
Jim Bowden is obviously guilty.

Seattle Mariners at Los Angeles Angels
The Mariners won, and the Angels decided to relocate.

Arizona Diamondbacks at St. Louis Cardinals
God called Albert Pujols and politely said, "Hey, Albert. Do you think you could stop hitting baseballs for a little while? You're kind of making me look bad." Pujols replied, "No, God. Not right now."