Day in Review

Oakland Athletics at Toronto Blue Jays
The Blue Jays defeated the Athletics. However, it was during the hockey playoffs, and therefore, it did not count.

Houston Astros at Los Angeles Dodgers
Wandy Rodriguez pitched well for the win prior to revealing the story behind his name. "My parents thought for sure that I would die of SIDS, so they figured my name wouldn't matter. Boy, were they wrong," laughed Rodriguez.

Chicago Cubs at San Francisco Giants
The crowd gave Barry Bonds a standing ovation for his outstanding team play. Heh. But seriously, Bonds didn't tie Babe Ruth, so who cares about this game?

Milwaukee Brewers at San Diego Padres
The Brewers attempted to psych out the Padres by putting the pitchers in the position players' uniforms while at the plate, but it backfired as the Brewers lost and struck out 16 times, despite the last two innings of charity issued by Padres pitchers.

Atlanta Braves at Florida Marlins
Tim Hudson embarrassed himself by issuing an earned run. "I'm disappointed by my effort, but I promise to be more focused when this warm-up game is over," said Hudson. It was later revealed by MLB that the team Hudson pitched against was actually the Florida Marlins and not a warm-up game.

Boston Red Sex at New York Yankees
Hideki Matsui broke his wrist early in the game. Following the game, he said, "Well, it could have been worse. It could have been my masturbating hand. Or Hiroshima. That would have sucked, too."

New York Mets at Philadelphia Phillies
Aaron Rowand ran into a wall in his attempt to get the "Owen Wilson" look. Shane Victorino, best known for playing on the same team as Bobby Abreu, was Rowand's replacement and got a double, a triple, and Rowand's AIDs. Good job, man.

Washington Nationals at Cincinnati Reds
Ken Griffey, Jr. hit a walk-off homerun in the 11th inning to win the game for the Reds. During the celebration, he tore a hamstring, achilles, and bicep while fracturing his forearm, pulling a groin muscle, and getting a sports hernia.